I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
