Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
