that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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