Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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