Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
