tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
