Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
