Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
