it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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