I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize