You really coming over, don't trick.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
