My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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