You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
