I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
