i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
