im holly from the hills drunk
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
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