I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
