Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
