I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize