You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
