Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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