HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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