I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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