Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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