Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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