He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
