if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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