why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Sext me about skeletons
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
