dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
