i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
