I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
