A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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