What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Randomize
