Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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