3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
