So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
