i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
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