im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
