YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
