i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
