Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i love accidental penises.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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