I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
