goodnight i made you a song goodbye
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
