we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
