drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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