He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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