you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
