Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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