How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
