BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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