I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
BRING THE BAGELS
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize