Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
