My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
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