I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
