I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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