I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
tell me about the eggs
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