so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
